Could My Mother Have Lived Longer Had Son & Daughter-in-Law NEVER Moved In?

Lance & Julie Garrick’s disrespect and insensitivity to the needs of two very elderly people drove nails into my mother’s coffin.

Lance is my brother; Julie my sister-in-law. Before they, along with their three young kids, moved into my parents’ home, my mother was on course for making it to at least 93.

She was 89, my father 93, when my brother thought it was okay to bring his family of FIVE into their home!

Who in their right mind creates such an imposition on two very elderly people with heart conditions?

He’ll tell you that our mother practically demanded he move in. However, he should have been the bigger person and realized that her insistence was driven by judgement that had softened with age.

Though she was still sharp enough to be independently functioning, shop at malls, handle money, play bridge and run the kitchen, it was her judgement that wasn’t quite where it had been 10 years prior. Lance and Julie took advantage of that, saw an opening and pounced on it.

They moved in, along with enough personal belongings to sink a ship, under the guise that they’d promptly begin house hunting and be out of there almost as soon as they had arrived from Las Vegas where Lance had lost his job.

He had found a new one in Denver but deceived my parents into believing he was too short on cash to move straight into their own place from Las Vegas.

But ohhhh, they had PLENTY of money. While living at my parents’ home to allegedly save up enough money for a downpayment on a new house (and they initially wouldn’t consider any home under $750,000), they went on mountain trips, out-of-town trips by plane and purchased gymnastics, ice skating and swimming lessons for their toddler.

They ate only organic food, got the toddler and preschooler professional haircuts and had every convenient kitchen gadget you could think of. Highlands Ranch, Denver

My mother had told me, “That Julie goes through Lance’s money like a fish through water. EVERY DAY those two little ones have on a new outfit. I’ve never seen an outfit repeated.”

The volume of clothing for just the girl toddler that was crammed into the basement walk-in closet was absolutely mind-blowing. I never had that much clothes in the first 30 years of my life.

The 12-year-old, who turned 13 shortly before their first Christmas there, announced what she’d gotten for Christmas.

I calculated the cost of her huge arsenal of gifts to be at least $250. The 2- and 3-year old received a ton of toys, even though the amount of toys, games, puzzles, stuffed animals, etc., that they already had was just outright staggering.

These were NOT people in need. I think of impoverished children who jump for joy upon being handed ONE wrapped present from Santa, yet my two nieces and nephew had more stuff and junk in any randomly selected four-foot cubic area of the basement (where they lived) than most children have in their entire childhood. No exaggeration here.

A man whose new job pays about $10,000 a month has no fucking business moving his loud, messy family of five into the home of an 89- and 93-year-old…no matter HOW much they insist (in their compromised judgement, of course). Remember, they were deceived. Garrick,Highlands Ranch, Denver

Within days of moving into my parents’ home, Lance and Julie leased a GMC Yukon and SUV. Have you ever seen a GMC Yukon? It’s practically a tank. Garrick

“If I were in Julie’s shoes, living in my in-laws’ basement, I’d save every single penny,” my mother had said with disgust.

The woman across the street from me has three kids (10, 3 and 1). She gets her mommy duties done quite well with an economical hatchback, not a $70,000 tank.

People who lease a $70,000 vehicle, plus an SUV, do NOT need to be living in a very elderly couple’s basement and turning their life upside down by letting the younger screamy kids run loose on the first floor where Grandpa and Grandma spend all their time.

Ohhh, Lance will tell you they got a discount on the Yukon because Julie used to work for General Motors. But the discount left the price in the mid 60,000’s! Garrick, Highlands Ranch, Denver

A mother of three who lives in her in-laws’ basement needs a GMC Yukon like she needs a hole in the head. But I guess NOT having a miniature table in the back of a vehicle to change the younger ones’ diapers was way beneath Her Entitlement.

I wonder if a cardiologist would agree that new-onset, constant stress and anxiety, could worsen a chronic heart condition, making it progress at a FASTER rate than it was on course for, prior to the new-onset stress and anxiety.

Within six months of their moving in, my mother visibly appeared 10 years older. I was aghast at the change. The stress also affected her demeanor and disposition.

She became sullen and irritable. She told me she felt like a prisoner in her own home. Eventually I asked God, “Did my mother spend the last 15 months of her life being railroaded by Lance and Julie Garrick?”

Many times I told her to kick those freeloaders out.

But she and my father were just too physically and mentally frail, drained and defeated to put their foot down.

I’d ask God, “Did my brother and sister-in law ever abuse them and make threats if they were given a deadline to move out?”

Normally very outspoken and assertive, my mother was quite submissive around Julie and Lance. What was she afraid of? I get queasy wondering about this.

It was only AFTER my mother passed at 90 that this sickening reality hit me like a ton of bricks, and that I had questions for God such as:

• How much longer would my mother had lived, had my brother and sister-in-law NOT moved in?

• Is it just a coincidence that she went downhill (after a long period of medical stability) soon after they moved in? That she was no longer quite herself and lost her verve and vitality?

I actually didn’t need God to answer. I KNEW the answer. Those two younger kids, plus many other factors, left my mother feeling drained and beat, my father feeling frustrated.

A puppy can be trained not to bark or soil the carpet. Yet a toddler and preschooler can’t be taught NOT to frequently scream when on Grandpa’s and Grandma’s floor? Bullshit. My parents raised SIX CHILDREN. We never behaved that way.

Funny how Holly screamed for no reason at two-minute intervals while in her playpen, yet could scamper around and fall flat on her face and not utter a sound. Highlands Ranch, Denver

Just because someone is 89 with chronic heart failure doesn’t mean their condition can’t be sped up by ongoing stress from thoughtless freeloaders.

An elderly person could be in poor health, but this doesn’t mean that arrogant moochers can’t bump this person’s demise UP on the timeline.

Wonderful Son — NOT!

Lance once told me, “I refuse to talk to Mom because she doesn’t wear her hearing aids. I only talk to her when it’s necessary. Otherwise I REFUSE to talk to her.” This says it in a nutshell: a dirtbag, ungrateful son.

When I wanted to speak to my mother, I simply requested she put in her hearing aids. She’d tell me to get them for her, and she’d put them in. Problem solved!

But this simple solution was too overwhelming for an arrogant dbag who allowed his prima donna wife to take over the first-floor kitchen, continuously leave messes, who allowed her to let her younger ones frequently scream and holler, even though he knew this made life on the first floor unbearable for two very elderly people who deserved to spend the last years of their life in peace.

Please, please do not say, “Well it was THEIR fault for insisting they move in!”

Remember, their judgement wasn’t all there, and Lance and Julie Garrick took advantage of this so they could stay in a beautiful home for only $300/month rent! Highlands Ranch and Denver

Lance should have said, “Nope, we can’t move in; the young ones are loud and hyperactive; we have tons of belongings; we refuse to impose on you; my new job pays 10 grand a month; we can easily find our own condo or townhome to get settled into, and then when everything settles, we’ll look for a single-family house. BUT… if it’s okay with you, we’ll drop by once a week for dinner.”

But selfish, greedy, arrogant people don’t think this way.

Immediately after my mother was gone, this thoughtless couple began taking over the first level of the house. Suddenly, toys, books, games, etc., were in the living room and kitchen. They were lounging on the first floor, without any consideration for my bereaved father’s privacy.

One day I said to God: “I can’t help but compare what Lance and Julie’s move-in did to my mother to a slow lethal poisoning over time with arsenic to rid a family member to gain control of a house.”