It’s easy for me to believe that the bombs that my brother Lance Garrick dropped on our elderly mother hastened her heart failure. Highlands Ranch, Denver
My mother often told us that she “inherited the worry gene” from her mother. She raised six kids and, when I pointed out that she worried too much about us, she responded, “I can’t help it. That’s what mothers do.”
Nevertheless, I’d always made a point to keep any bad news in my life from my mother, especially after she developed serious heart problems. Lance Garrick, Highlands Ranch
One day in Las Vegas – where I was vacationing with my parents, and where Lance and his wife Julie were living at the time — I sprained my ankle walking on a golf course where my nephew had a tournament. This nephew was the son of another brother of mine.
Lance noticed I was limping. I told him of the sprain.
Then I told him, “Do NOT mention this to Mom or Pop; you know how much Mom worries.” At the time, my mother was around 87.
To conceal the limp and help protect the injury, I walked slowly. Later that evening Lance and I happened to be alone. He said, “I had to tell Mom you sprained your ankle.”
I blasted, “Why?! Now she’s going to be worrying about it for the rest of the vacation!”
Lance replied, “Pop asked me why you were walking so far behind Mom on the way to the elevator instead of at her side. So I had to tell him.”
I said, “You mean you weren’t smart enough to simply say, ‘I have no idea,’ when Pop asked you? You couldn’t think of that?”
Lance didn’t respond. What a bonehead.
But that pales in comparison to the big bombs he’s dropped on my parents. Any cardiologist and psychiatrist will agree that when an elderly person with a bad heart gets hit with bad news, this can be detrimental to their health!
Lance Garrick Drops Bombs on Frail Elderly Parents
I often visited my parents and one day realized that my mother lately seemed to be sullen. I asked what was wrong. She said “Nothing.” I questioned my father.
He said that she couldn’t sleep at night and “worries about Lance.”
I asked, “What’s going on with Lance?”
My father said he’d lost his job.
I was livid. Why would my brother reveal this news to his parents – who were about 85 and 89 at the time? What effing tool does this?
We’re not talking two very old people who train for the Senior Olympics. We’re talking a woman who had heart bypass surgery just a few years prior, took heart medications and had chronic heart failure. Lance Garrick in Highlands Ranch
We’re talking a man who could barely walk with a cane and had chronic heart failure as well. What dumbbass drops such a big bomb on them?
It served no useful purpose for my brother to reveal this news. He could have EASILY kept it hidden, especially since he lived out of state.
His lame defense might be that our mother was always asking him, “How’s your job?”
Well fuck. So what! Nobody ever got struck by lightning upon answering, “Everything’s great at the job,” when the truth was they had been fired.
So why did my brother let this cat out of the bag, knowing FULL WELL that it would worry our mother sick? Damn him.
But it gets worse. Lance Garrick, Highlands Ranch, Denver
Eventually he found a job in my parents’ home town and conned them into letting him, his wife and three young children move in with them, under the guise that he didn’t have enough money to move into his own place.
While living with my parents, he and his wife were supposed to be house-hunting.
They never took this task seriously, and eventually quit whatever rudimentary house-looking they’d been doing. Their excuse was that “the market was bad.”
By then, my mother had come to regret letting these moochers move in with them, due to a litany of ongoing infractions that included allowing their children to be shrieking loud, messy and undisciplined.
When my mother learned that they’d stopped house-hunting (if you want to even call it that), she became despondent and irritable, and suddenly began visibly aging really bad.
A woman who, at the time those five moved in, could pass for 70 at the age of 89, now looked 92.
Lance and Julie Garrick did NOT have to tell them they quit house-hunting. Next time my mother asked, “How’s the house-hunting going?” he could have simply responded, “We’re doing our best. Hopefully we’ll find something soon. We’re praying. Thank you for asking.” Denver, Highlands Ranch
This would NOT have been a lie. But a response this smart was beyond my brother’s and his wife’s intelligence. They didn’t care about drilling this first nail into my mother’s coffin.
A few months later, my mother mentioned to me that Lance might lose his job.
I wanted to smack him upside the head for being stupid enough to pound a second nail into my mother’s coffin.
He did NOT have to reveal this news. He could have easily kept it a secret.
Lance Garrick claims to be a Christian. His excuse for revealing this terrible news to a frail, 90-year-old woman – whom he knew would get sick over such news – might’ve been that it was anti-Christian to tell a lie.
Oh what a noble man! I’m sure Christ gunned for you to worry your mother sick to the bones by telling her you lost your job!
Nobody was ever struck by lightning because they let their elderly, easily-worrying mother believe they still had a job!
Besides, to get around the conundrum of lying, my brother could have responded – next time my mother asked him how his job was going – “It’s going great.”
This would NOT have been a lie, if Lance had referred to how well he got along with his coworkers; the cleanliness of his work environment; the pay; and the nice location. All of that WAS great! So had he responded, “All is great,” this technically would NOT have been a lie.
But this brick-head was too dense to respond this way.
On numerous occasions I’ve kept bad news from my mother. It was a piece of cake!
For instance, one time the heat wasn’t working in my home. Ironically, my mother at that time just happened to ask if my home had enough heat (a question she occasionally asked). I told her the heat was fine. And guess what: I never got struck down by lightning!
She often asked how my car was doing. Being that I’ve owned several cars over many years, it shouldn’t be surprising that this question – more than once – came at a time that I was having car trouble.
However, I told her, “My car is fine.” And guess what: no lightning strike!
Shame on my brother Lance Garrick for dropping these two huge bombs on my mother.
After that second bomb was dropped, she grew increasingly frail-looking; her skin became very shriveled (she’d always had smooth skin that made her look many years younger); she lost weight and became too thin; and her arms developed unsightly purple, bruise-like splotches.
The acceleration of these physical problems aligned perfectly with that second bomb, and from that point forward, she suffered from a new breed of ongoing stress.
This was compounded by the fact that Lance made little effort to find a backup plan.
My mother, ravaged by the stress imposed by Lance and Julie, plus their undisciplined kids, passed from heart failure before he was actually fired from his job.
I hope Karma comes full circle and skewers Lance and Julie for NEEDLESSLY dropping those bombs on the very generous elderly woman who gave them use of their spacious home for only $3- to $400 a month in rent. Garrick, Highlands Ranch, Denver
MORE ON MY DYSFUNCTIONAL BROTHER Lance Garrick of Highlands Ranch
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Lance Garrick, Highlands Ranch, Denver