Lance and Julie Garrick of Highlands Ranch, Denver shamefully allowed their toddlers to frequently scream and shriek while living in my very elderly parents’ house for 300/month rent.
Both Julie and Lance are guilty of doing NOTHING to curtail the frequent screaming and ear-splitting squawking of Holly who was almost 2 when they moved into my parents’ spacious home, after relocating from Las Vegas for Lance’s new job with a jewelry company. Julie Garrick, Denver, Highlands Ranch
At the time, my parents were 89 and 93 – hardly in any condition to easily tolerate frequent loud shrieks from Holly.
At 89 and 93, my parents were supposed to enjoy their last years in the house that they’d moved into about a year and a half before my brother Lance convinced my parents that his three kids would hardly be heard, and would hardly be on the house’s first level, where our parents lived.
The arrangement was for Lance and Julie to live in the basement with their three kids while they hunted for a new house.
The basement consisted of a large main room, a small kitchen area (sink, counter, cupboards), two bedrooms, a bath/shower, a wide hallway roomy enough for a diaper changing station and toy station, and each bedroom had a walk-in closet big enough for children to play in.
Plus there was a park and swimming pool within walking distance, not to mention everything else nearby.
ALL FOR $300 PER MONTH.
Nevertheless, Lance and Julie thought nothing of DOING NOTHING when Holly screamed, shrieked and loudly hollered.
In fact, Lance encouraged it by imitating her when she bellowed “DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH.” It never dawned on him that other people present (his parents and me) would find HIS loud “DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH” to be effing annoying, to say the least.
With such generous living quarters downstairs, they spent entirely too much time on the first floor.
Nevertheless, there were times they HAD to be on the first floor, namely for meal prep and meals.
Throughout all this, my 89-year-old mother was subjected daily to Holly’s piercing shrieking.
My parents raised six kids. They’d be the first to tell you that there is NO excuse for making a toddler think it’s acceptable to frequently erupt into shrieking episodes.
NO, THESE WERE NOT ANGRY TANTRUMS
Before I go on, you must know that Holly’s crazy loud, repetitive squawks and shrieks were NOT temper tantrums.
Rather, she’d just spontaneously erupt, be it in her playpen, sitting on Lance’s lap, in her high chair at meal times – ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. Julie Garrick, Denver, Highlands Ranch
Before you insist that toddlers can’t be trained not to scream and shriek, my mother (of SIX) would tell you this is a nonsensical myth.
The second point is that Julie (who gets most of the blame, since Lance worked full-time) DID NOTHING, MADE NO ATTEMPTS, NADA, ZILCH, to hush Holly.
Now…how should such attempts be made? Well…that’s a whole new topic. And it’s not relevant. The issue here is that my awful sister-in-law DID NOTHING!!!!!!!!!
Thus, the argument that “You can’t teach toddlers not to shriek” does not apply here.
Another point is that Holly – take my word for this – was the loudest, noisiest toddler I’ve ever encountered. The frequency and volume of her vocals went significantly beyond typical or normal for one her age.
None of her many cousins had ever behaved this way. I’ve been around many toddlers and preschoolers all throughout my half century of living, and damn I’m being truthful and accurate when I affirm that…BY FAR…Holly was the noisiest, screamiest, shriekiest toddler I’ve ever encountered.
• I was over my parents’ house a lot.
• I frequently drove them to doctor appointments and other errands, and on the front and back end of those trips, I hung out at the house.
• I came over often just to socialize with my parents.
• I slept over many times during various medical situations they had.
• Bottom line: I was at the house often enough, and long enough for each visit, to know that Holly’s daily habits included abundant amounts of shrieks and squawks – some as loud as a house alarm.
Before you assume that Holly had some kind of disorder – — this, too, is not relevant, because both Lance and Julie thought nothing was wrong with her. They thought she was normal.
And perhaps she was. After all, toddlers can learn – over time – that the only way to get attention is to scream like a siren.
And if there WAS something inherently wrong with Holly, then again, keep in mind that it went undiagnosed and untreated, because Lance and Julie thought she was perfectly normal.
Holly was in her playpen every day for periods of time, and she’d let out unbelievably loud squawks.
They’d come at intervals such as every 30 seconds or every few minutes. And fuck, they were LOUD. Sis-in-law did NOTHING. I can’t say that enough.
Meanwhile my mother would cringe and cover her ears.
Before you attribute that to senile dementia or some other “old person” thing, I MYSELF found the squawking and kitchen table shrieking to be quite offensive.
So did my father. Holly’s noise often disrupted his ability to take living room naps. He was 93, and Sis-in-law had zero respect for his need for a quiet first level.
My father has always been very mellow and laid back, while my mother was more of the outspoken one. But for some reason, she didn’t come down on Julie about Holly.
An 89-year-old’s mind and spirit is a lot more fragile than it was at age 79. At 79, my mother would have been a tour de force. But at 89, she seemed too intimidated to put her foot down.
But one day when my selfish sister-in-law and Holly were at the kitchen table (when they should have been downstairs), Holly began repeatedly shrieking. I had to plug my ears.
Remember, when I say that Holly’s noise was NOT normal and far beyond what any other toddler typically does – you must believe me.
My mother approached and said to my sister-in-law something like, “Stop that screaming.”
Julie rose, gathering up Holly, and copped an attitude: “I’M NOT TAKING AWAY HER VOICE.”
Do you see what’s wrong here?
At no point did my mother tell my sister-in-law to tape the toddler’s mouth. She said, “Stop that screaming,” NOT “Stop teaching her to talk.” Julie Garrick, Denver, Highlands Ranch
But my entitled sister-in-law twisted things like warm licorice: “I’M NOT TAKING AWAY HER VOICE.”
I felt like giving her my backhand. But I stepped in and explained that the issue was the screaming, NOT any talking, speech development or giggling.
However, my dense sister-in-law didn’t grasp this, and repeated, “I’M NOT TAKING AWAY HER VOICE.” Nevertheless, she took Hollydownstairs.
The reason I wasn’t more forceful is because, at the time, my mother had convinced me that if I ever took the bull by the horns, she’d be very angry with me. Not that I couldn’t handle that. I could have.
But I feared that my mother’s HEART couldn’t. She had stage 4 heart failure! I was caught between a rock and a hard place.
- Do I clamp down on Julie and risk a heart attack in my mother?
- Might Julie become so pissed at me that she gets revenge by striking my mother when I’m not there or by committing some other infraction when I’m absent?
- Maybe I’ve watched too many ID Channel documentaries in which an elderly person was murdered by a family member – but damn, I just could not take any chance.
- So I kept low key – which now I dearly regret, having ultimately realized that my mother surely would have lived another year or two had she not been subjected to all of the stress and despair that was caused by my sister-in-law.
Shame on Lance Garrick
Lance told me and another brother, “G,” that the combination of Mom’s “early dementia” and “malfunctioning hearing aids” made Holly and her 3-year-old brother Talon seem far louder than they actually were.
What a Load of Cow Dung.
First off, my mother had never been diagnosed with dementia. Sure, her 89-year-old mind wasn’t where it was 15 years prior, but she was still doing crossword puzzles, shopping at department and grocery stores by herself, playing bridge, repairing clothes at her sewing machine and preparing meals for my father.
As for the hearing aid nonsense, both my parents wore hearing aids (my mother only sometimes).
The fact that they BOTH found Holly to be ridiculously loud should tell you something: that she was ridiculously loud and that only a fool would blame hearing aids.
Furthermore, I myself – with NORMAL hearing – found Holly to be ridiculously loud – so loud, in fact, that I usually wore ear plugs.
Lance then would keep telling me, with angst, that I spoke too loud because of my ear plugs numbing my own perception of my voice’s volume. What nerve!
I told him, “There is NO way I’m nearly as loud as Holly!”
“Oh yes you are,” he replied. Julie Garrick, Denver
I was talking louder than average, period. How dare the “DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH” man admonish me for talking too loud? Webster’s definition of “Arrogance” should include my brother’s picture.
Holly was permitted to be downright obnoxious. The excessive shrieking continued after her third birthday, even though she was speaking more.
• Again, this isn’t about occasional shrieks and shrill squeals.
• It isn’t about screaming from an injury. Julie Garrick
• The vocals came for either no apparent reason, or, in response to trivial events such as waiting for food or wanting attention. By far, mostly they came with NO apparent trigger.
I once emailed my sister, “M,” about these repeated infractions. At that time, M had raised three children herself to adulthood. I was wondering if she’d side with another parent of three (Lance), or see this for what it truly was.
M was aghast that Lance would be so “disrespectful of their [my parents’] age.”
M also pointed out that her own kids, at toddler and preschool age, were taught to be mindful, respectful and never screamed or shrieked other than if they fell on concrete or something like that.
She also mentioned that whenever she took her kids, when very young, out in public, she’d get complimented by strangers for how well-behaved they were.
On some level, I’d been hoping that M would admonish me for being overly sensitive, because this way, it’d be easier to deal with the problem if it were my own imagination, rather than face the wretched truth: that Lance and Julie were brutally disrespectful to my very aged parents, ruining what should have been their peaceful last few years.
Lance and Julie Garrick might explain that it was my parents’ fault for insisting they move in.
But remember, their insistence was predicated on being tricked – by Lance – into believing that the children were well-disciplined, well-behaved, and would hardly ever be on the first floor.
Lance LIED to our parents. Julie Garrick, Denver, Highlands Ranch
In addition, Talon and Holly would scamper around on the first floor shrieking during play, while Lance/Julie did NOTHING to correct this behavior.
This was Grandpa’s and Grandma’s living quarters, not a playground. For Pete’s sake, if the little ones needed to release energy, Lance should have gotten off his lazy ass and taken them outside or to the nearby park.
Instead he’d be draped on a first-floor sofa while the kids ran loose and screamed on the first floor.
How I Trained Holly to Be Quiet
Eventually I trained her with one of two silent signals to be quiet, in that when I gave her a signal, she immediately clammed up.
I’d lock eyes with her when she was at the kitchen table and I was in the living room peeking around a corner, or peeking through the curtains that separated the kitchen from the family room.
I’d either give her the referee’s “time-out” signal with my hands, or, scrunch my lips and eyebrows: the other silent signal. They worked like a charm. This proves that Holly was smart enough to learn not to shriek and scream.
As long as I was in Holly’s line of vision, she was quiet. I never hit her. I never raised a hand to hit her. She learned this strictly by intuition. I used my signals tons of times, but her parents were too dense to catch on.
Nevertheless, there were also times when I was not able to secretly deploy the signals, and Holly was full-force.
And of course, when I was NOT even at the house, Holly was just plain vocally unruly, all the time, making my parents miserable. Remember, they were 89 and 93 when my brother moved in from Las Vegas.
The rent eventually went to $400: still a steal. It wasn’t too much to ask the preschooler’s prima donna mother to teach her not to randomly scream and shriek.
Yet the girl’s parents remained insensitive throughout, allowing her to be loud and obnoxious, knowing full-well how this affected my parents.
This wasn’t an issue of “kids are kids.” I can’t say it enough: Holly was exceptionally obnoxious and loud. I’ve never seen this in any of the other nieces/nephews, nor any kids I ever baby sat or otherwise had been around.
And if I was able to quiet this child with a few silent signals, this speaks volumes about Lance and Julie Garrick’s parenting approach and zero respect for the very elderly people who so lovingly gave them a beautiful place to live for only peanuts rent.
Links to Julie Garrick’s Additional Atrocious Deeds
Overall crappy treatment of my parents shortened their lifespan
Refuses to clean up tons of crumbs under kitchen table made by her kids
Left other disgusting messes in the kitchen; gave outrageous excuses for not cleaning them up
Uses up elderly mother-in-law’s good silverware, telling her use the plastic kiddie utensils
Let the children ruin mother-in-law’s good furniture
Julie Garrick, Denver, Highlands Ranch