Whole Foods Swedish Meatballs: WAY too Much Nutmeg

The Swedish meatballs I recently bought from Whole Foods were WAY too heavy on the nutmeg.

They tasted like nutmeg balls, or, to put another way, nutmeg crafted to the consistency of a meatball.

Whole Foods’ Swedish meatballs are the size of ping pong balls. From the first bite, I was overwhelmed with nutmeg.

I finished four balls just to make sure that this was not some errant fluke with just one of the balls.

I’ve had Whole Foods’ Swedish meatballs before. They were always delicious – REALLY delicious.

So this time, I knew something was wrong. I called the place up and asked to speak to the manager of the prepared foods department.

I asked if this product contained nutmeg; he said he’d check the ingredients. He returned and said yes, there’s nutmeg in them. BUT, he also said he tried one and agreed that it was “heavy on the nutmeg.”

I asked if the recipe called for an objective amount, or did the recipe say something vague like “add a little nutmeg.”

He said he didn’t know. I then asked didn’t the chef SAMPLE his food? Again, he didn’t know the answer.

I told him to bring this to the chef’s attention so that the chef would know how stupid he was for overdoing the spice.

I have never, ever tasted this pungent spice in any of my previous Swedish meatball purchases, even though apparently, many Swedish meatball recipes call for nutmeg.

I’ve had Swedish meatballs all my life and never had a batch that tasted heavy on any particular spice.

Furthermore, any chef with half a brain knows that nutmeg is one of those spices that leaves NO room for overdoing it. There is NO leeway with this spice.

Since I hate nutmeg, you’re probably wondering how I was able to identify it in the meat, since I obviously do not use it to enhance the flavor any foods.

I have a protein drink after workouts. The drink is full of all sorts of good things besides protein powder. I always add a teaspoon of nutmeg.

Despite the other ingredients in this health concoction, I can detect the nutmeg. I quickly guzzle the drink to minimize the taste experience.

I include nutmeg because at least one study shows that this spice is good for the liver. We always hear of foods that are good for the heart, bones, skin, etc., but never the liver.

So I decided to add it to my health drink. This is the only circumstance under which I consume nutmeg. It is strictly for the liver.

That’s how I knew that Whole Foods’ Swedish meatballs were overloaded with nutmeg.

What chef can be dumb enough to NOT know how to carefully add in this spice? What was this dumb-arse chef thinking?

Thanks to his stupidity I was tasked with having to return $20 worth of meatballs.

Sure, I got my money back, but I was really looking forward to this dish. This nearby Whole Foods RARELY sells it in their prepared foods department, so it’s not like I can buy more anytime in the future.

When I returned the food, I saw Swedish meatballs in the trough. This time, I asked for the manager, because my plan was to then request meeting “the chef” so I could point out to his face how bad the previous batch of meatballs had been.

Instead, I got the guy who’d I spoken over the phone with the other day. He was just as impersonal in person as he’d been over the phone (typically when I mount a complaint to Whole Foods, the manager I speak to is very friendly and personable, and there seems to be a high turnover of managers/supervisors there).

But this time, I got a lemon. Anyways, I asked if “the chef” was available. He said he “just left” (which I believe was a lie; I believe the supervisor feared I might be too confrontational and thus kept the chef’s identity a secret).

I then asked if I could sample a piece of meatball. This Whole Foods manager took a tiny wooden sampling spoon and dipped it into the sauce, then proceeded to hand it to me.

What the fudge! How dumb did he think I was?! How the hell could I sample a MEATBALL by tasting just the sauce?

So I promptly said, “That’s just the sauce! Can you give me a piece of meatball?”

And he did. And I could tell he’d rather be hanging over a cliff than dealing with me.

But whose fault was that? Had he ensured that his chefs did a proper job seasoning the food, he wouldn’t have to deal with me.

After handing me a piece of meat on the spoon, I turned my back to the counter, put the sample (minus the sauce) in my mouth — and gagged, spitting it out. It was Nutmeg City. I turned to the counter; the manager was nowhere in sight.

I waited. When he appeared I called out his name. I loudly said in an angry voice, “It’s overloaded with nutmeg! Try it for yourself!”

I then left, disgusted at Whole Foods. No wonder Trader Joe’s is kicking their ass.