The pens at checkout counters have fake flowers attached so that stupid people realize the pen isn’t theirs when they’re done with it!

There is a reason why the pens you see at the checkout counter at grocery stores and other stores and medical clinics have those big fake flowers taped to them:

It’s to remind customers, who use the pens to write out checks or fill out forms, that the pens aren’t theirs!

You can’t really believe the reason is décor, can you? Maybe at a beauty salon the reason is décor, but certainly not at the physical therapy office at Kaiser Permanente or the checkout at Whole Foods.

HOW DUMB must a person be to accidentally take the store’s pen with them, such that the store must put this huge flower on it to remind the customer it’s not their pen?

Holy Toledo.

Sometimes these flowers are bulky and are taped with sticky, thick tape, and it’s sticky against my hand when I use the pen (and by the way, I no longer use community pens – gross). One day I asked, “Why is this on the pen?”

Before you accuse me of being too dumb to figure out why, the reason it didn’t dawn on me was because I didn’t think people could be STUPID ENOUGH to forget that the pen was never theirs!

It also didn’t occur to me that the flower is attached to discourage people from tucking the pen away in their pocket or purse (stealing).

This didn’t occur to me because I myself would never, ever, ever put a pen—that had a zillion strangers’ germs on it—in my pocket. Eeewwww.

The clerk told me that if the flower isn’t on the pen, customers will accidentally walk away with it – not deliberately, as in stealing – but by accident. My goodness. Can people be this dumb?

Will someone kindly tell me how you can use a store’s pen, then accidentally take it with you on the way out? How high must one’s IQ be to follow this formula:

1) Use the pen at the checkout to write out a check or fill out a form.
2) Place it back down on the counter or in the jar with all the other pens.

I wouldn’t be caught dead taking home a community pen, what with all the germs on it. How can anybody accidentally take the pen with them?

This would mean women putting it in their purse (again, this is by accident, not willful stealing), even though these numbskulls should have the clear memory that they never pulled any pen out of their purse to begin with!

It would mean men putting it in their pocket even though they should have the memory of never having taken a pen out of their pocket!

I’ve seen pens with heavy duty flower attachments, complete with thick tape bound around them several times to hold the flower in place, at stores like Kohl’s and Walmart.

It’s unbelievable that pens have to be practically mummified to prevent customers from accidentally walking off with them.

How can you NOT know that the pen you just picked up off the counter at the business is NOT YOURS? Hello? Anyone home?